Re: Rip it to shreds please

From: Nancy Beckman <nancy_at_marketingworksinc.net>
Date: Tue 24 Aug 2004 21:56:58 -0500

Hi Cliff,

I have a few minutes to spare this afternoon, so I took a peak at your web
site... just so you know "where I am coming from," I am a marketing
consultant with 25 years of experience.

Your theme "Business is Rocket Science" does not match the visual and the
saying "plan every action" which is more of a sports theme. Your copy also
doesn't really support the tagline, except only toward the bottom of the
home page. The name Ad-Astro means "rising to the stars." That should be
incorporated in your home page and in your primary messaging. Then, Business
as Rocket Science starts to make sense as a theme.

Rather than a headline that says "Welcome...", have the headline, and all
headlines be strong benefits that position your company.

Be clear at the bottom that the Apogee is a free email newsletter. You have
to read the small text to know what it is. Have a subhead there that says
what Apogee is, and the key benefit.

Copy is quite long, especially for CEOs to read. Suggest breaking text into
smaller paragraphs or bullets, and adding subheads to aid the "skim reader."

On a separate topic... please consider letting your readers know that Spam
Arrest is actually a spammer. I used to use them as a "challenge and
forward" spam blocking service provider, then learned the hard way that they
capture the email addresses and use them as an opt-out email list. They
don't deny it either. Just Google the words SpamArrest.

Thanks, - Nancy

Nancy Beckman, President
Marketing Works!, Inc.
43870 Ludlum Ct.
Ashburn, VA 20147
703-729-7950 (phone)
703-729-7952 (fax)
**********************************
When you're serious about results
**********************************





Received on Tue Aug 24 2004 - 21:56:58 CDT